Tuesday, March 21, 2006

RDHHH's Great Sports Movies: Major League

Major League

One of the best sports comedies of all time. A group of misfits unite to make an improbable run to win the pennant, thwarting the owner’s plans to move to Florida. Of course it’s a cliché storyline, but the quotes and characters make this movie great.

Every character adds something different: Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, the flamethrower from the California Penal league, Pedro Cerrano the Cuban voodoo who looks like Carlos Delgado and played by a young and starpping Dennis Haysbert, Lou Brown as the gruff manager and Wesley Snipes as Willie Mays Hayes (poorly replaced in the sequel by Omar Epps), in his pre-Blade, pre-direct-to-video days. And of course any credible sports movie will have Chelcie Ross as the antagonist. And you can’t forget Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle the team play by play man. Former Brewers pitcher Pete Vukovich earns bonus points for his portrayal of rival slugger Clue Haywood.

Major League truly rises above other baseball movies on the strength of the quotes. (For an alternate experience watch an edited version on cable where "F**k you Joboo...” becomes “Up your bucket Joboo...”, and "Strike this f***in guy out!" becomes "Strike! this guy...OUT!" ):

Lou Brown: Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "ole" bullsh**!

Pedro Cerrano: Hay-soos, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.

Harry Doyle: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add? Colorman: Ummm... no. Harry Doyle: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

Harry Doyle: [Hayes takes his lead off first base] We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a hell of a job.

Cerrano: Pissed off now Joboo, look i good to you, i stick up for you, you no help me now...........I say, f*** you Joboo, I do it myself.

Willie Mays Hayes: Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.

Lou Brown: You may run like Hayes. but you hit like sh**.

Sure the movie is predictable and the two sequels were increasingly poor, but Major League set the gold standard for baseball comedies. They don't really make movies like this anymore. Don't get us wrong, this isn't high brow, but there's something about it so much funnier than anything we've seen recently. To be honest w'd love to see HBO or ESPN develop a baseball comedy series akin to Arrested Development or the like. There's just so many places to go and the opportunities for storylines are endless. Oh well, until we can quit our jobs and write for a living...and get agents...and get meetings with the mukety mucks, it'll have to wait.