Monday, July 03, 2006

Hawt Dawg!

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Chevrolet. They used to be the staples of America. Not any more my flag-waving friend. Japan is the reigning champion of the World Baseball Classic. Toyota is invading NASCAR. Apple pie lost its relevance when McDonald's removed the scalding, hot lava apple pies for "safety concerns". And Takeru Kobayashi is the 5-time Nathan’s Hot Dog eating Champ. A 144-pound Japanese man sticking it to all of Fast Food Nation, and on the 4th of July no less.

Now it’s time for the old US of A to fight back. Enter Joey Chestnut and Sonya Thomas. Chestnut recently ate 50 hot dogs in a Las Vegas qualifier (You can't just be any slob off the street to partake in the fun)-a serious threat to Kobayashi’s record of 53 ½. At only 105lbs, Thomas holds 23 records, including 35 brats in ten minutes, and 7.75 pounds of turducken in 12 minutes. Somewhere John Madden is jealous.

Forget the World Cup, Tour De France or baseball, the real athletic battle will take place tomorrow in Coney Island, NY. Our country’s gluttonous pride is on the line.