Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Alcohol+NFL Fans=Family Entertainment

In another sign that NFL stadiums are comprised of the lowest rung of society, Giants Stadium officials have outlawed beer sales for the Jets-Patriots Monday night game. Apparently a sauced Jets fan stabbed two people in a bathroom a few weeks back (Reports that the assailant was wearing a Starter Jacket were unconfirmed). The brilliance of this no-beer policy is that after the Monday Night game, beer sales will resume for next Sunday's game. That should teach the fans a good lesson. It's not like the fans will drink less whther they are playing the Bills or Patriots.
It is a nice attempt at a safer environment, but NFL stadiums are America's answer to European soccer hooligans. Many of these people start tailgating three hours before kickoff, which means they could blow a .20 while passing through the turnstile. Once inside they are not going to spend time or money in the concession line, they are packing the flask. Why waste time on light beer when said fan can have Wild Turkey? So the fans will still be loaded by the end of the game, the Jets will still be bad and the fan that just lost $1000 because the Patriots covered is still going to be looking for someone to fight, yell at, or when all else fails, stab.
The positive of no beer sales, no (beer) bottles thrown on the field.