Thursday, March 23, 2006

Let it Rain! And please pass the low carb donuts.

Shawn Kemp is making an NBA comeback. All I can say is it’s about time. Comically notorious figures like Kemp need to stay in the spotlight. JR Rider, Doc Gooden and Maurice Clarett get it, and now Kemp is catching on. Staying relevant is all about exercise, especially exercising poor judgment.

Kemp has reportedly lost 50 pounds, which is still about 40 pounds heavier than his optimal playing weight of 230. "My love for the game is very, very high," Kemp said. By “love of the game” Kemp means his conciousness and “very, very high,” meaning very, very high.
Also partaking in the nonsense is Kemp’s agent Tony Dutt, "I was basically relaying the information the GMs were giving me: 'Until he loses the weight, we don't care if he can score 30 points a game. When he loses the weight, give us a call.’ So there are going to be some phones ringing."

For one thing, Kemp averaged more than 20ppg once in 14 seasons and second, no GM would turn down anyone capable of scoring 30pts a game, drug-addled, overweight walrus or not.

Thanks to Dutt’s great advice, Kemp will now wait by the phone like a seventeen year old boy who just asked a cheerleader to prom. At this point the motive seems clear, Kemp is short on cash and figures Isaiah Thomas will take a chance. Then he drops this head scratcher: "I'm not playing just to make someone's roster. I'm not just playing to make a comeback. My hopes and dreams are to be in the Hall of Fame one day."