Friday, March 24, 2006


Wanna hear some funny jokes? Don’t read Jim Souhan, where terrible analogies and puns are the constant (one of the rare exceptions was his Tuesday column which was actually on point, made valid points and was void of lame jokes). Sometimes Jim appears bitter and takes pleasure in gutting players, teams or whole sports, at other times he just makes terrible points and conclusions, but if there is one consistency with Souhan, it’s hyperbolic humor and jaw-dropping awful one liners. Even in the most benign article about the Sweet Sixteen, bad humor is unavoidable.

Unless you're addicted to ESPN -- and there is a cure for that affliction, known as "Cold Pizza" …
Yes, Cold Pizza is a terrible show and Souhan is about two years late in slamming it. The only thing less original is ripping Stuart Scott for yelling Booyah or Dick Vitale for being annoying.

When underclassmen began leaving college to enter the NBA draft, or skipping college altogether, we heard that the popularity of the college game would go the way of Enron stock.
He drew from the Cold Pizza well, so why not an Enron reference? How about working in a Dick Cheney and gun control reference? No, do the Florida Election!

Ohio State has recruited star center Greg Oden. They'll be lucky to keep him for a full season.
Classic Souhan hyperbole. What’s Oden going to do, turn pro in January because he’s bored? Unless Oden goes Przybilla on the Buckeyes, it’s a safe bet he will be there a full season.

Some people joke that college was the seven best years of their life. Someday Oden will say college was the seven best months of his life.
Some people named Jim Souhan love that joke.

The regionals promise another perfect storm of intensity and unpredictability this weekend. Next year, I highly recommend that the Big Ten participate.
Zing! Finish with a rim shot and thanks for coming.