The Weak in Review

There once was a man named Kemp,
Who gained much weight due to hemp,
He wants to play ball
And enter the Hall,
His odds are on par with Will Demps’.

Daunte Culpepper took to the sea,
Six months later he entered a plea,
He was shooting the craps,
With no ladies in laps,
Says his lawyer named after a tea.

There once was a man named Barry,
Because of drugs his back became hairy,
He’s filing a suit
Over things that are moot,
His intolerance like one allergic to dairy.

March Madness is better than a KFC Snacker,
Aside from the games with the grouch Billy Packer,
He growls and acts real mean,
‘Bout teams he's never seen,
He invents more bugs than a computer hacker

A man moved to Hollywood hills,
To further his musical skills,
He painted his home,
In purplish tones,
Now Boozer is left with the bills