Monday, April 03, 2006

RDHHH! March Madness Live Blog

-Nothing wraps up March Madness like Teddy P, buzzer beaters and tears.
-What's an orgy of horrible commercials without BudLight and Ted Ferguson?
-Obviously Florida had lots of dunks, but can't CBS show some other highlights too?
-I can't wait for the UCLA interview with Dan Bonner: Coach Howland, things didn't go well tonight, your thoughts?
-Nantz closes his interview with Billy Donovan by saying, "It's a great football school and a good basketball team too." Donovan's expression says, "Gee, Thanks Jim."
-And the Man-Crush goes to Joakim Noah. With the entire Florida Gators roster the runner up. Packer's hyperbole knows no ends.
Final Florida 73-57
-I could have made it the night without a Taurean Green shimmy.
-"He's(Brewer) been an octopus tonight. And Afflalo can attest to that." I'm anxiously waiting for that soundbite.
-Packer says 70% of Florida's shots in the last ten minutes are dunks. He's right actually.
-Nantz just made an Adam Vinatieri reference with dropping threes in the RCA Dome. Please stop.
-Packer asks if there has been a team with so many perfect games on one team. The answer is no. The Florida Gators are robots sent to dominate college basketball forever.
3:31 Florida 63-49.
-It's the Coach Applebees commercial, normally annoying. But after the Giligan's Island Applebee's spot, it's a welcome sight.
-Sadly the Yankees/A's game is a bigger blowout, 7-1.
-It's easier to block shots when you can hit their arms.
-"Don't block it into the stands, knock it and keep it in your hands" Put it on wax DJ BP.
-During a dunk(s) replay Nantz asks how many times have you seen it?
-Dear Billy, will trading baskets work for UCLA?
-If/When Florida cuts down the nets, will someone "accidentally" snip Noah's ponytail? Please?
-Unless Farmar is stupid and turns pro, UCLA will be verym very good next year. Joe Shipp's return gives them exactly what they miss right now: scoring.
8:00 59-43 Florida. UCLA is 1-10 from 3. They keep talking about Afflalo, but Mbah a Moute is silent. He was everywhere in their previous games.
-Saturday Packer gushed at Noah's finishing ability. Anyone that is 7-0 with a 7-0 wingspan better finish.
-Stopping a game to review a 2 or 3 really hurts the flow of the game. Refs should use it at the end of a game not with nine minutes left.
-More dunks and the 3 replays we crave.
-After Afflalo scores his first points of the game Packer notes, "That may help him". Thanks Billy, Afflalo probably forgot what it was like to score.
-Wow! Aboya's alley oop was sweet. Yet no replay or two or three.
15:00 Florida 47-29
-You don't have Cingular? You are seww pathetic. I can't believe I even go to basketball games with you.
-This is the time when Packer traditionally unravels. He degenerates into incessant butt-kissing.
-What is the deal with multiple replays of dunks? Ah Dunk! Ah dunk! Ah DUNK! I don't need it, especially anything short of spectacular.
-Early favorite for Man-Crush is Noah. The senseless Magic comparisons continue.
-Coke Zero: Because 1 calorie Diet Coke goes straight to my ass.
-UCLA will probably press, but Noah and Horford will really help breaking the trap.
-Dick Enberg is a legend. Why does CBS use him like a cheap Jimmy Roberts? It's still a good recap of 25 Final Fours.
-The New Adventures of Old Christine: Julia Louis-Dreyfus is really trying hard.
-The best part of CBS is their halftime guys. Seth Davis and Clark Kellog have knowledge, credibility and best of all don't try to be cute or flashy.
-Another new BK spot. This one is much better. The Burger King working on I-Beams? You know it.
-Is Jack Hannah a permanent guest on Letterman? Maybe it just seems that way.
Halftime 36-25 Florida
-UCLA came back against Gonzaga, but Florida has more balance. It will be very tough.
-DiGornio reminds us all why Billy Packer is tolerable.
-You would think UCLA's cheer leaders would be higher than Division III caliber.
-Adrian Moss is shooting a lot. Why?
-Noah just tied the block record. If he gets five blocks will they stop the game and hold a ceremony? Packer seems to think so.
-The bigger Brewer is guarding Farmar. UCLA is forced to set more high screens to get him open looks and create passing lanes.
-Packer and Nantz keep talking about the hallowed Championship game block record.
-After talking about Yannick Noah, Joakim throws it away. Perfect synergy.
4:00 Florida 34-UCLA 22
-Danger! Danger! Game nearing boring blowout.
-Two Cingular spots, sans know-it-all Cingular jerk. Maybe those spots are an homage to Packer.
-Poseidon with Kurt Russell and Josh Lucas. Um probably not.
-Billy Packer knows who Kelvin Sampson is. Congrats. I realize I'm overcritical of BP. If he could make one statement without an air of "I knew that fact and you should now be impressed" I'd let things slide.
-Packer, "Nice concentration by Hollins" as he misses a dunk.
-Farmar is the only Bruin consistently scoring. That can lead to forced shot from him.
-Why wouldn't a company realize the potential of the Tourney and create a clever running ad campaign throughout the tournament? Ad time is apparently cheap, you have three weeks of the choice 18-31 demographic to get your message across. Instead we are stuck with State Farm, Cingular and Applebee's.
8:00 Florida is up 27-17 with Horford, Green and Noah all on the bench. UCLA better do something quickly. If they don't people will start clamboring for Two and Half Men, and no one wants that.
-Packer keeps comparing Noah to Magic Johnson. Just because both are tall and can dribble doesn't warrant a ridiculous comparison.
-Packer,"Very seldom does a guy make a three when someone hits him on the elbow". He says
this as the replay shows a ticky-tack foul that didn't affect the shot.
11:04. 19-13Florida.
-Florida lost three of their best players. Matt Walsh and Anthony Roberson were selfish and the Gators weren't very good in the tourney with them. The fact that both turned pro and went undrafted says something about them.

-Basketball IQ. The hoops equivalent of moxie.
-People make fun of Adam Morrison's dirty stache. Joakim Noah's is underrated.

-So far Florida does not seem fazed by UCLA’s defense. Noah’s ability to pass over the top is huge.

-Nothing says March Madness like a John Mellencamp concert. No word if Michelle n’degiocello was there.

16:12 TO UCLA.

-I’m Coach K and I drive a Chevy. He seems like an AstroVan kind of guy.

-New BK commercial! It’s actually disappointing, but anything is relief from the Big Buhuhkin’ Chicken. The King should have taken a buzzer beater or an alleyoop.

-State Farm commercial…absolutely horrible…for the third week in a row.

18:00 Both teams seem pretty comfortable

Packer has already mentioned Brewer’s body twice.

Pre Game.
It's nearly time to go. I bypassed the Prelude to a Championship because I think three hours of CBS is enough for one night. Before it gets going some quick predictions:
-Florida wins. UCLA's defense is great, but Florida has more options on offense than LSU, plus better outside shooting.
-M.O.P: Taurean Green.
-Cingular Commercials: We will see that prick with a Razor no less than 8 times.
-Billy Packer's Man-Crush Award: The reason we all watch the game. He loves "length" and Corey Brewer is long. If UCLA wins he'll be all over Jordan Farmar.